Fatherhood and Poopie Diapers

I am reminded of my first daughter’s birth.She made her mark on this world seconds after exiting the womb.The incident occurred immediately after her birth and involved a delivery room nurse. My precious newborn bundle of joy proceeded to have her first unexpected bowl movement while being carried across the delivery room. No Pamper had been implemented as yet; consequently the floor caught the blunt of the deposit and the nurse unknowing stepped in it. Perhaps pooper-scoopers should be a mandatory part of delivery room equipment!
Here I was, a father at the age of twenty-three. Not too young, not too old. I was clueless of what fatherhood was all about but willing to discover.
Thirty years have past since my daughter’s birth, but some memories are still fresh. I was the only expectant father in the waiting room on that cold February morning. A few traces of ice from the last sleet storm were still visible on the sidewalk outside. In the distance I heard the faintest cry of a baby. I glanced up at the wall clock which read 7:26 am.Within my line-of-sight was a nurses’ station approximately fifty feet away with several glass-enclosed cubicles separating us. A few minutes past and I noticed the nurse at the station pick up her phone. As I watched, she turned my way and I read her lips, “It’s a girl”. I smiled from ear to ear and gave her the “thumbs up” sign. A short time later the doctor came to give me the good news. I’ll never forget the first words out of his mouth, “You’ve got a silly little girl”. Mother and baby were fine. I was fine. Everything was fine!
Everything was fine that is, until I had to change my first messy diaper. I tried my best to “man-up” and do the foul deed. Had I not left the scene there would have been two messes to clean up. I started dry heaving before I even got close to the dirty diaper. I had no problem changing a wet diaper; soiled diapers were a whole different ball game. It was fortunate for me that my mother-in-law lived next door and was a stay-at-home mom. My mother-in-law must have really loved me because she volunteered to be “on call” when the occasion offered itself for a messy diaper change. Yes, I admit it. I wimped out on the dirty diaper thing but give me some credit; at least I had a back up plan!