Ruth Luffman
“Grandma Ruth”
Grandma Ruth (my father’s mother) was the only grandparent that lived “out of town”. Ruth Love was born in 1903 and ended up living in Winston-Salem, North Carolina near a small suburb called Ogburn Station. After all of her children got older and married grandma lived-for the most part-alone in a two-story house on about a three acre lot. My grandfather Treely Luffman (at the age of 68) died three years before I was born (1954) and my grandmother never remarried. Grandma retired after thirty years of working for R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. The Luffman family was a large matter. My dad had twelve sisters and brothers. Of course this gave me an over-abundance of cousins, aunts and uncles.
Sunday afternoons were sometimes spent at Grandma Ruth’s house. My family usually visited directly after church on Sundays. My family divided our Sunday visits between Grandma Ruth and Grandma and Grandpa Walser.
Grandma Ruth cooked most of her meals the old fashion way and nothing usually went to waste. Many times lunch was prepared when we got there or shortly there-after. The average Sunday lunch might consist of stewed potatoes, turnip greens, fried chicken, biscuits, green beans, corn, and iced tea. Desserts varied from time to time.
We never knew who might drop in on Sundays but it was usually just my family. For many years my Aunt Lucille (my dad’s sister) and her two sons lived with grandma and had two bedrooms upstairs. Steve and Rick (her two sons) were quite a few years older than me and took me under their wings whenever I visited. They tried to involve me in their backyard football games, etc but the size and age difference made it a problem for me to keep up. I looked forward to the times when Grandma would send Steve, Rick and I to the neighborhood Save-Way store to get some soft drinks or some bread for lunch. If the weather permitted we would walk the short distance to the store.
Going to the Save-Way was always an adventure. Steve and Rick were good friends with the store owner and worked for him part-time in the summer months. The highlight of my visit was when Roy was there. Roy was a middle-aged man that hung out at the store. Roy was mentally off and had a bad stuttering problem but he was very friendly and wouldn’t hurt a fly. Steve and Rick would pick with Roy in fun ways just to get Roy stirred up. They never meant any harm in their fun and many times I would laugh at their stunts until I cried. Many times they would call out “Ro-ro-ro-ee” imitating his stutter. Roy would just laugh and go along with there joke.
The holidays through the year were always a time of busyness at Grandma Ruth’s house. The yard and driveway would be full of cars and sometimes people were forced to park across the street. Every room of the house would be full of aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. Christmas and Thanksgiving in particular were times of large crowds and much activity inside the house and out.
Christmas was the season for peak activity at grandma’s house. Each family would help out with the food preparation and bring covered dishes (southern thing). The main table would be full of various foods and the remainder of the kitchen countertop spaces would be for desserts and drinks. When it came time to chow down grandma had those folding TV trays to set up throughout the house. There was seldom any room at the main table for human occupancy.
After everyone was amply stuffed, the women would gather in the kitchen to help with clean-up and the living room would fill with guys watching football on TV. The smaller kids would be running and playing (preferable outside) in attempt to burn off what they just ate. Small assorted groups were strung throughout the rest of the house in attempts to catch up on the latest gossip or escape from the kids and football crowd. The older men would tell old war stories, relive fishing adventures, or talk about whatever old guys talk about. I would usually drift from room to room trying to find the most interesting stuff being talked about. I loved hearing the war stories and the fish tales but didn’t really get into the football games.
I was never one to follow any particular sport or team. Matter of fact, I never felt a part of any organized sport. It wasn’t a problem of coordination or size. I was six-two; weighing around 180 pounds and I considered myself coordinated compared to most people. I just never had the heart or desire for most sports. I enjoy fishing, camping, golf, chess, music, hiking, white-water rafting, and snow sledding. I say, “Whatever floats your boat.”
Grandma Ruth was a giving person and Christmas was no exception. She would shop during the year and with some help she would manage to get every grandchild and great-grand child a gift. The gift would be a small toy or maybe a pair of socks but the size of the gift wasn’t important, it was the thought that counted. To the best of my memory she continued this practice of gift giving.
Those Sundays spent alone with only my family and Grandma Ruth was the most memorable. I loved hearing her tell stories of “the good ole days”. Grandma would tell of RJR picnics, her past jobs at RJR, tales of her children’s antics, her faith in God, and life lessons learned through the years. I always remember Grandma Ruth as a kind, easy going person. She rarely got mad at anyone and if she did it didn’t last long. She fell, breaking her hip in her later years and the incident slowed her down some but grandma didn’t give up like so many folks do. She wasn’t able to attend church regularly but she always watched church services via TV on Sundays.
One thing I most admire about Grandma Ruth was her deep faith in God. She was a Bible believing, tongue talking Christian. I remember on numerous occasions our religious discussions would sometimes develop into small scale prayer meetings. Many of my dad’s side of the family had deep religious ties. Most were Church of God or Pentecostal by faith.
Back in the 1980s I remember an incident that happened on one of my visits to Grandma Ruth’s house. My aunt Rachael was visiting too and commented on how she wanted to quit smoking. Out of the blue she asked me to pray for her and ask God to remove her desire to smoke. I was flattered and a bit nervous but I managed to pray a simple prayer. To this day she has not smoked another cigarette! I know it wasn’t me that caused the change, but it made me fill good that God used me to combine my faith with my aunt’s to cause a positive outcome.
Each of us have a limited number of years to occupy this Earth and Grandma Ruth was no exception. In 1993 grandma made the transition from Earth to Heaven. She went painlessly and peacefully at an age of 89 on her way to the hospital. One of my aunts was with her in the ambulance and saw grandma struggling for breath. My aunt, sensing the end, told grandma to relax and the EMT said “Ms Luffman, just relax, it’s ok.” Grandma Ruth took a few more breaths and went home to be with the Lord.
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